Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
