Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
