I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
