then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize