I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
