I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
