your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
