Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
