suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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