I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
