So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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