So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Houston, we have a blender
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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