So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
