I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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