my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
not ubering you a puppy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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