We're like a lot better than the average bears
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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