It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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