My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
