have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
