i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
