Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
