recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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