Are we in a gay sports bar?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
