Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
