i think my mom watched the whole time
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Randomize
