My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
