I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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