ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
