To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
