She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
