Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
