Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
