why didn't you poke me back
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
