did you get engaged???
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
