Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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