i permit you to call me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
