yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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