im drinking this country out of the recession.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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