Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
