This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
