So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I will be naked everywhere
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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