It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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