Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
