i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize