I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
