Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
this is an emotional support booty call
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
