is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's official drugs can't kill me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
