I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
