I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
