Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my being single is dangerous.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
