Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
