Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
