dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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