ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize