Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i out mim tonsoeep
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
