I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
