I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
