He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
