Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Less talking, more tequila
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
