So drunk its hurt
Porn is love you can see.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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