i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
