Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
