I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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