Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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