Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
