Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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