Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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