I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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