I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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