My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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