i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Small penises have feelings too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she smelled like a LAN party
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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