you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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