apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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